Ever since I was young, I always wondered how it feels to walk, live, and do everything naked.

Maybe I have to give a little background here. I was born and raised in a very conservative family, society, and country. Life there was not a choice at all; it was no more than a calendar check journey. While my family and everyone else was trying to live day-to-day life, I was wondering, “What is freedom?” And “how does it feel?” I was fascinated when I heard my dad mentioning the nude places and beaches in Germany. He had never been there at all, but he read or heard about them. He criticized, rebuked, and blistered them harshly from a conservative perspective.

The Trigger

I was only ten years old at that time, but it was enough for me to spark a fundamental question, “how do those people feel when they walk nude in front of others?” I believe they never get shy. But “why do they need to get shy in the first place?” “Is it a sin to be without your clothes in front of others?” “What if everything my dad said is correct?” “Are they going to go to hell because of that?”

Self Reflection

At that age, I decided to give it a try. So, I started to hide from my family and go completely naked in any possible way. In my room, running from the bathroom to my room, and sneaking out of the house to the garden at night, sometimes. The taste of the experience was incredible. I don’t even know how to describe it. I was excited, happy, scared, free, strong, and vulnerable, all at the same time. Life had different colors when I was walking around naked. Away from the sounds of bombs, wars, and death, being naked for me was my best “secret haven.”

Yes, I got caught and got beaten, really hard “by my parents.” After that, they kept watching me very closely. They thought that a demon had possessed me. So, religion was their go-to solution. They started to push me hard towards religion, under the impression that this way might help me to get “my salvation” and redeem my relationship with “God.” But I don’t think that was enough to stop me from the feelings I experienced when I practiced nudity. As a matter of fact, they triggered me to be more obsessed with nudity. At that time, I didn’t know it was called “Nudism” or “Naturism.” All I was thinking of is to be freer and challenge my family.

To be continued.